Things from the past couple months had another meaning given to them, and I could see things from another perspective that made me more paranoid. I could see the meanings of little things, and I felt hurt and loss that was very big. I went to my bedroom to rest, and I lay there on my bed in the dark with my arms spread tight across my body. It felt like I was alone in the world, and being a threat to Ms. Mulaney, all my good feelings and intentions being regarded in a negative light, made me hate myself. Right now, even though it looks like Twitter might be working right again, I feel like something has been taken out of me, and the strength I felt this morning feels more battered. I don't know what to think anymore. I feel like my feelings for Ms. Mulaney are some kind of sin to her, and I feel ashamed.
I started today feeling good, then I went to campus to hand things in to the music department and say goodbye to my instructor. It ended on a positive note, and I got to hug him again. I came home, and I couldn't see anything Twitter-related if I wasn't logged in. Things took on a dark tone for me, and I could feel the loss of everyone on campus from my life, including my advisor and band instructor, as well as the music department office secretary, who asked where I've been and said that she missed me.
Things from the past couple months had another meaning given to them, and I could see things from another perspective that made me more paranoid. I could see the meanings of little things, and I felt hurt and loss that was very big. I went to my bedroom to rest, and I lay there on my bed in the dark with my arms spread tight across my body. It felt like I was alone in the world, and being a threat to Ms. Mulaney, all my good feelings and intentions being regarded in a negative light, made me hate myself. Right now, even though it looks like Twitter might be working right again, I feel like something has been taken out of me, and the strength I felt this morning feels more battered. I don't know what to think anymore. I feel like my feelings for Ms. Mulaney are some kind of sin to her, and I feel ashamed.
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AuthorI have mental health problems and have had a lot of traumatic things happen in my life. If anyone cares to read...here you go, and hopefully it will help some people not feel alone. Archives
April 2024
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