When it came time to answer why Styna would still consider me a threat after I clarify, my friend asked me to think if Styna is really the person I think she is.
If I put these two things together, there is an epiphany: my clarifying/critiquing nature is what she feels threatened by, especially if I am doing it toward her. I’m a person who edits himself, while it hurts Styna to be edited by others. Anything I would have a problem with pertaining to her, or ask to improve, would maybe deal a blow instead of help.
Every person on this earth is flawed, and I easily notice those flaws. Even though I love Styna, she is not exempt. I constantly analyze, while Styna tries to breathe and flow. What helps me is that I try to balance and be fair; but I could seem harsh, and I feel there is still room for improvement on my end in how I react.
Despite faults I perceive with Styna, I still love her; no matter who I’m with, there will be something that comes up that turns me off. If there was a relationship between us, we would both have to be open to suggestions and discussion to deal with the part between us that could cause unintentional hurt.
For a while, I would have to give her as much love and support I can so that she felt more comfortable with me and better understood my intentions if I addressed something that I think would be good for her in the future; I know I would also have to avoid a lot of what she says publicly (I’m thinking of Twitter) so I wouldn’t miss the intent and analyze her interactions with people who argue with her.
I’m a person who works, edits, and balances toward a goal. I still feel like having a relationship with Styna, even as I realize it wouldn’t be gangbusters right out the door. I know it could get there, though, and I have the heart and unconditional love inside of me for her to try.