She kept thinking that my feelings weren’t real, so I was punished for having them; whenever I feel something for her, it’s made out to be a bad thing. Styna hates me and thinks I’m a “creep.” She gave up on connection, chose someone else, and then one by one suspended anything good that could happen between us.
I still have these feelings for Styna. The possible build-up of them and wanting to act on them already peaked a while ago, and now there’s everything that can’t happen and I’m not supposed to feel. I want so much to share my life with someone, and there’s no longer any outlet or hope for it anywhere, especially not with the person who I have had feelings for for so long.
I want to love, connect, be intimate, and care.