If the way the person is clashes with my own, I’m often to blame, even if I don’t see the picture of what is going on. It helps if other people communicate to me. Their actions and some of the things expressed could be interpreted by me in a certain way that isn’t aligned properly with their intentions, or the way they express things could be a turn-off that alters my perception. Missing or seemingly conflicting pieces draw my attention away too.
It’s strange that the best communication and relationship I have is with my cat.