If the post Ms. Mulaney made a couple days ago about an ended relationship was about me, I am a little confused. I wanted to be in a relationship with her, but I kept waiting for a sign that showed that we were in one. When she used magic, I didn't know that was her starting a relationship. I kept messaging her everyday without a response, thinking maybe she'd contact me for my birthday saying we could date. My birthday passed, I got a strong negative response from she and her friend, but she still read the things I wrote and tried having a silent relationship with me that I didn't even know was a relationship. Eventually she cut me off and had dates with other people. I kept hoping she had feelings for me and would give me a chance, not knowing that she had already tried giving me one. Now she's got a partner, the two of them are in love, and I'm still sitting in exile, wanting to love someone I can't. I'm happy that she's happy; that's not a problem.
It's just...she's the person I love and have been committed to. I have been excited, wanting to have a relationship for her for the past eight months. When I said I wanted to someday marry her, I meant it. I feel like love has been taken from me, when in reality I was somehow its undoing. It's not just love loss; it's also not being able to love the person I love. Why she feels she can't have a relationship with me is kept hidden. The poetry book she was working on, I think, she stopped working on. I'm depressed more so now with myself and my life. I thought we had a future together, and to think such a thing was possible filled me with joy. With me wanting to love her, nothing's changed. My energy gets low at times, and I get more depressed, but I still love her.
I can't remember what else I was going to say.