The last day of April was really bad with my brother. Screaming, violence, insults, threats, and then he ran away. He’s back now. When he has these episodes, it affects me like nothing else; there are alternating feelings of wanting to fight him to the death, burrow deep in the earth and hide, and kill myself.
It looks like I have finally hit the point where noone is replying, talking to me online. Styna has left me for good, too. I love her.