Puppet Master: The legacy

Formerly titled: Technology Does Not Like Me

Beside from Puppet Master: The Legacy, I had one other review typed up here and ready to go, for Another Cinderella Story, with another for Resident Evil: Extinction on the way, but then the Internet went down, and now they are lost.

* Puppet Master: The Legacy - I obviously did not look enough into what this eighth installment of the Puppet Master franchise was really about beforehand.  The DVD case the movie came in led me to believe that an actual story was going to be the main focus.  If you look up my ratings for the first seven movies, you will know that I am not a big fan of this series.  If you are a fan of the series, you will likely look at my rating for this eighth installment, scoff, and not actually read anything I have to say about Puppet Master: The Legacy.  Here is why you should: I am not a fan of this series, but the eighth film hits a record low, not just for the series, but for movies I have seen in general.  This movie can be interpreted as either the very definition of a cash-grab or a poorly cut-together and thought-out ode to the series and its "legacy".  Despite what other sources may tell you, even the DVD case, the movie clocks in at about 72 minutes.  Over an hour of that short runtime is devoted to showing extended patches of scenes from every movie in the franchise up to this point, and having 10 minutes or less of new footage spaced out between the scenes, billed as the real "plot", to try to tie them all together.  The "plot" is mostly empty, and oftentimes we don't understand what the flashbacks have to do with what the two present-day characters are talking to each other about.  I give the movie credit for bringing up a few questions I myself have had, but it brings them to the forefront and then doesn't attempt to answer them, as the characters already think they know what they are talking about, but maybe they don't, and we ourselves can't tell.  Is Toulon good or evil?  Are there even more repercussions possible for bringing inanimate objects to life than have been alluded to earlier?  In the end, why are there so many Puppet Masters?  What do the puppets really feel toward their creator and the masters that came after his reign?  I thought the movie was going to answer these, but then there is a plot twist in the last minute and a half, and everything becomes even more convoluted, as there is apparently an even bigger variable to consider, but darn me if I was able to understand what that variable really is.  I thought the film was saying that the puppets had had enough again and were turning on the newest master, them being the Immortals, but after checking on Wikipedia, I'm not that sure about much of anything in this movie anymore.  What is it that all the Puppet Masters have created?!  Wikipedia is also nice enough to tell me where all the films land chronologically; this movie is the furthest into the future, followed only by the crossover with the Demonic Toys series.  The audio quality of the flashbacks, at least on my disc, was better than in the actual movies they come from, even though they all came in the same pack.  It feels most of the time, if you have already watched the previous movies, that you are wasting your time while watching this, and the ending doesn't make you feel any better.  I am surprised the studio even mentioned to the public that there are people who made this movie, as almost all of the footage is taken from past films, and darn if Robert Talbot, or Charles Band, or however directed this (as there are some discrepancies on even this matter when doing research, or maybe Robert Talbot is Charles Band?!) classifies this as a full film that he can add to his filmography.  I would have been much better pleased if they would have cut the flashbacks down in size to essential images and then took the rest of the runtime up with an actual plot.  The given film is inadequate to stand as a true one, and so I give it a highly discouraging grade of 1/5, the only merits being a lumpy road down memory lane and at least admitting there are some topics that could be discussed further that the previous movies didn't answer.  I was willing to pretend that movies #1-3 + 7, 4-5, and 6 took place in their own versions of reality, but since this movie insists they all happened and are a part of the same continuum, I am afraid that I must say that my dislike for this series has turned to hate.  This film has changed its "legacy" for the worse.